我想你的痛已到心底，再也收不回去...

27/6 ;
2nd day of school and highlight of the day goes to the early dismissal. =D we just started with the chemistry lesson with our new teacher Mr Tan Siong Liong when the alarm rang. everyone were chanting bout the unbearable sun but i was smart enough to go under the umbrella held in the hands of the canteen uncle. he was so nice okay!

anyway, choir practice was still on although the early dismissal. =/ had to learn the dance steps for upcoming speech day and national day dinner. it was kinda different having to watch the video and teach at the same time. they could have just watched that and we can all learn together. i dont know but thats the way they work.

couldnt stand the freaking strong air con in the AVA room and felt real dizzy.

weird.

presbetarian? or is it presbertarian? i dont know how to spell it but the high school at yio chu kang was one of my ideal school to go to. HAHA! anyway, interested choir members are going for a small concert there by a school choir from Taipei next friday. heard they are 1st in the country. so its probably gonna be a eye opener for us singaporean 'sua gus'.

can take joke right?

28/6 ;
happy birthday to Kai Hong, my friend since primary 2. LOL. such a cute darling loved boy he is, cute forever. =p aiyah, anyway, its been a long time since i spoke to him. probably some weeks ago before the holidays.

mass run was fucked up. had to go for 3 rounds. lessons... eh, you know school and teachers... what else? =/

ahhh~ gonna go into dreams soon. need plenty of rest for tomorrow... choir practice again, yes.

till 6.

xO

;i am afraid


FAGGERS!! MILO PING IS OUT!

and that 'bao' with no 'liao'. gay boys.

dammit!

so now what? revival round again?

sorry okay, i dont have that america's time to go watch superband if not for milo ping and juz b. either of them should back instead of the other gay boys.

RAHH!!

gotta go catch some sleep.


你还是我的唯一... (:

;i am afraid


i kinda predicted i'll get home and be so dead.

voila! i am.

told my mom i'll be back in the evening but watched the teenage icon @ tampines mall so reach home around 10pm when there's still school tomorrow. =/


Nathaniel Hartono! winner of the teenage icon 2005. sings like Michael Buble and shuai!

we watch that for a reason of course.


Tony Chao! he looks like Raven when he smiles and somehow very Jia Jun. like damn lookalike. must be the long lost brother of either one. well... he's Net's friend so we went over to support.


lalala~ heard he can sing real well but doesnt seem like it today. its probably due to nervousness lah. i know the feeling real well. HURHUR~

got quite tired passing by the same shop everytime and all the walking on heels are killing me so we went for some relaxation session in the...



Pretty In Tokyo !! okay i look like... =/

so in the mean while, saw Ziwei's shoes!!


fucked up pretty!! (she made them herself. o.o)


the other she made. (:

she's so freakingly talented. goodness.

results were announced at about 8pm and he got in...

HE GOT IN!!

YAY! NET WAS LIKE HAPPY.

=x




一整天在彷徨的那人群中，我总期待看见你的影子，其它的都仿佛不在视线... 我不贪心，只要微微见到背影就够了... 真的...

曾竟拥有的 是否会像颗流星光芒绚丽划过天际 消失后毫无痕迹
如果我的感觉让你逃闭，那我宁愿放在心底... 永远保留这个秘密
我要谢谢你给我那一天的回忆，它就像我这一生唯一的奇迹...

;i am afraid


RAH!!

ARGHS!!

IM STILL DOING MY HOMEWORK.

PROUD OF MYSELF.

WAHAHA!!

GONNA FAINT ANY SECOND ESPECIALLY AFTER

THE DRINK.

AHHH~~!!

;i am afraid


kinda tired to blog. so restless. probably due to the fact that school's gonna reopen the day after tomorrow. =/ my homework is still untouched. drats.

went to church with Phileo yesterday and got to know quite a number of new friends like Grace(she's drop dead nice and enthu, looks like Candice from Superstar), Arthur(a guy from the first batch in our school), Qifang(i dont know why but she looks damn familiar), Aaron(dont really talk much), Samuel(we just shoke hands. o.o). saw people like Ben Leong, Christopher, Kai Shing, Wei Qi... blah blah blah... overall, the performances were real hilarious and we sang quite alot of song. i really enjoyed and... i prayed to God for you... (:

went over to douby ghaut for a outdoor small concert after that with the gang. got to the front and saw everything clearly. it's been such a long time since i do stuff like that. haha. must thank them.

=D

reach home about 11pm. Phileo sent me home. haha, he's nice. keep feeding me sweet. HURHUR~ likes to copy me and has cobwebs in his kitchen cupboards. LOL.

*******

nothing to write about today. just went to ah ma's house and drank red ruby vodka when i reach home. kinda dizzy now. =/ but.. still have to do my homework and change my bedsheets. its like 3am now. drats. RAHH!

;i am afraid


choir was fun. i didnt know girls start at 2pm so got there early and listened to the guys warm up. absolutely lacking confidence. =/ how? richard~! help them please...

things got better when the girls came in. ms yee joked around and the sec 1&2s sang damn soft as usual. i have no idea how to make them improve. the meeting after practice was kinda long, talked bout relations in the group, costumes... blah blah...

went home straight after. a boring day as usual.

got to know this twin brother online. HAHA! the thing is, they didnt know! i got to know the younger brother first on friendster and then the elder brother doing the same thing. i was confused, them looking alike, having the alike names. i thought something was wrong. xD cute.

meeting up with Phileo tomorrow afternoon. LOL. how unusual... -.-

xiaorui jie, chill alright. (:

;i am afraid


HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY (20/6) TO EUNICE MUMMY! (:
i love and miss you alot okay. stay pretty!

rushed off to habourfront mrt to meet up with joseph for sentosa trip the day before yesterday. i got startled by my lynn laopo there and i screamed! haha. so anyway, this whole thing was all last minute, had to bring clothes for bro as well. the mrt trip was freaking long. had no idea why people were staring at me. its probably due to my hair, i had it plaited. =D


while waiting. LOL.


me and bro in the resort room


bro trying to screw jeremy. =x


them trying to pose for me.


uncle scolding him. LOL.

weird? why dont have joseph? he went to look for his girlfriend. (:

the first day was short and we did almost nothing. watched superband and Shinobi is out. i dont bother. i've got angry once for Juz-B went out and i'll probably go crazy again if they put 迷路兵 again. RAHH!


when i got bored. blue lens!

woke up around 10plus the next morning. showered and went over to siloso beach for bicycle training and the guys for basketball. its the 2nd time i got on a bicycle and i still dont know how to ride the damn thing. joseph, chun leong, peng guan came to help but i still cant catch the tempo to it. joseph's dad helped soon after, told me to push and paddle but i still cant get it. instead, i mastered the kicking and pushing part. how to paddle? i keep falling duh.

the guys went on to the pariss restaurant after that at tampines mall. great stuff there, got their member so i can go for a free meal on my birthday. the others i bring gets 5-10%, 10 person allows me to have a 1/2 kg cake. but meals there are kinda expensive lah.

finally home after the 4 of us having to squeeze in the back seat. its kinda fun lah but i missed wearing a bikini, and that i dont have one. =/

;i am afraid


today, is a day worth remembering. because...

he finally reply to my messages already!!

(although he stopped when i ask him when he's free =/)
and afterall, its like he never forget about me okay. i was grinning all along after he replied. he's still the same, likes to say that im rubbish. he finally got his light green vespa, still working like hell... i should stop.

its father's day!! 老爸的一天!!
so must enjoy lorh. woke up damn early and the whole family got over to people's park shopping centre or something like that for lunch. i love everything there and its making me real hungry now.

bought lotsa rubbish and saw the folk's high school classmates, who are married as well. heard they got to know each other through my parents. cute right. =D i and my bro thought they had 5 kids, which turns out to be 3. o.o

got home soon after. was real bored.

17/6 ;
slept till 4 in the afternoon and headed to cwp with my momma. bought jeans and its freaking plain. =/ dont even know why i bought that. maybe the comfy level was high enough.

16/6 ;
was late again to meet up with weisiang. bugis sucked, ate pastamania (he has never tried pastamania! rahh! whats wrong with him? =/)
i bought nothing but earrings in the street so we went down to marina square straight after. nothing much to look at as well. bought a top for $32.90, thinking back, its kinda expensive. met up with ming ye as well, i'll always remember the mrt boys' incident. HAHA!


22/4, the first time we met... ate burger and onion rings you made for me
1/5, the first and probably the last time we meet up
21/5, you finally replied 2 messages after so long
18/6, i got 8 replies and you hide away again when i ask...


如果你等得太久，请相信我不曾停过。想装上翅旁飞到你身后。爱很浓，心很空。该怎么停在你心中？这深藏已久的寂寞... 时间带不走。爱很多，心很痛。究竟有多少次错过？这唯一的承诺深深埋在心中，我却无法开口。相信放在心中，原随时为你保留。疼爱在我口袋，别让风把它带走。思念不能放开，它就像潮水难以回收。就算相拥一秒钟，就已足够。

;i am afraid


xin yuan, happy birthday!! (:

i spent the day watching 恶魔在身边 i borrowed from serene jie the day before. did nothing else. ate lotsa lotsa chocolate, had break out on the face, cried like hell and only ate dinner. fuck life.

9/6 ;
met up with zhengkang for movie cos he had no one to accompany him and i'm free. daddy wanted to go as well but its all last minute so he went on with brother. x-men 3 was great, dont know why people were saying it sucked. so weird okay, its one of the best. haha. zhengkang is real nice. thanks lah! haha (:

10/6 ;
as promised, met up with weisiang for movie. saw pk and gang, as usual thinking the guy beside me is my boyfriend. he is definately nice, quiet and scary. yes scary! he dont even talk till i ask him for opinions. -.- most quiet date ever. and i must admit that this is one of the very rare time i have nothing to talk about. im like talkative and hyper crazy but he totally turn me off. but he's nice.

11/6 ;
facial at the slimming sanctury at marina square level 1. the beauticians there are cuties and i must admit that they really know skin. alot alot about it! facial rocked and got my eyebrows trimmed as well. i faggingly love it. bought a $70+ treatment serum thing for blackheads and mom like bought nothing. headed to secret recipe for lunch and i ate the famous lamb and butter rice. mummy talked bout me and how i really misbehave all along, about dad and then i started crying. i dont know why, just cant take the blow.

12/6 ;
woke up real late and missed meeting up with adrian to mediacorp for my first shooting as part time of course. i was so lost when i got there at around 11.15am and i dont even know how to get to the radiogate. (which i have been passing by the place for upteen times when i go watch the staridol months ago.) i never notice! got there and went over to wardrobe and make up room to get ready then rush off to suntec city to pick up joshua, shaun and some other part times. i met joyce, wan ting and algie when i reach mediacorp, then we start making friends and stuff like that. they are real fun peeps, esp. algie. she's like me, joined campus superstar and got called up for audition, first time there and damn excited bout the shooting later. so coincidently, we got paired up to act with joshua. its ridiculous! she's 168cm tall and we got paired up? what rubbish!

and and and... he's like a faggot! i wasn't really sure about grabbing his hand (for the script) and he went: " 我很恐怖啊？抓我的手啦！我会咬你啊？"

"会..."

he kept quiet. HAHA! xD

after different different explanations and rehersing, we finally end the shooting at around 5.30pm and met up with adrian. he's the hairstylist for singapore idol and most the idols for that round are there. i don really have any impressions on them! (except for if i were to see johnathan or paul twohill. xD) instead, lucify and brods from superband caught my attention. dont know why they walking around also. LOL.

;i am afraid


was so late for choir today. headed for lunch with angela, pk, angeline, wenshen, sam and shangying after that and home.
boring boring boring day then mediacorp called. asked me for part time at i not stupid 2 sitcom. LOL. can see joshua okay. (:

wahahaha!!

11.15am at radiogate. where the hell is radio gate? -.-

another difficult question after the annex building. wtf! whats the point for such a big building? put everything together lah! easier right. =/

and how in the hell can i get there without cab? fuck lah, mediacorp is a damn big chore.

;i am afraid


its the worst day i've ever had alright. i dont wanna talk bout it anymore. RAHH!

met up with jeffrey with ah chuan, serene jie and some other friend of he's. slack and crap all the while, did nothing and ate long john. most boring day ever. i have nothing else to write about. imagine the pain.

arghs.


*******
brother's birthday photos ;


birthday boy =D


candid shot by kor kor.


without make up


the only tasty soup. =/


sotong rings. if only they are onion rings, i miss those he made ='[


momma's share of lousy stone-like lamb chop


daddy's


lousy well done steak.


please look at the difference! i'm never going back to cwp's swensens for steak __



desserts! i like em though (:

;i am afraid


happy birthday brother. (:

5th of june. a memorable day for some people. for my brother, it's his birthday. its some body else's birthday at swensen we met today. it's the day rui jie got her everything one year ago. it's kit and peng's one year anniversary if i got the date correct. that's some i know. i got so shock when he went over the table with only girls and asked for the girl celebrating her birthday. okayy~!

i got up real late this morning, ate lotsa rubbish and lunch. i slacked for awhile, got ready and went over to cwp for dinner with the family. pictures will be up tomorrow cos they are in my mom 's hp and she went to bed early.

swensen's main courses suck. the soup and the desserts taste heavenly. i dont know what they want. dont serve main course lah! lamb taste like rock and my steak is well done! fuck i cant stand my steak well done. i like it bloody and soft. =/

arghs, meeting adrian for breakfast tomorrow morning. at 10 lorh! he's trying to kill me. xO

4/6 ;
i'll name it the 2 ba kut teh day! which is 2day aka today! alright enough rubbish said. it goes like this...

early morning, christie woke up around 11 to meet up with fabian for a brunch date and she wanted to eat ba kut teh. fabian was in a hurry so christie went home and wanted to catch a movie with nicholas but her daddy was preparing to cook ba kut teh for her because he remembered the idiotic girl wanting to eat ba kut teh for a couple of days. on the other hand, nicholas has no money so christie went home for the ba kut teh her daddy cooked. they lived happily ever after.

=D how nice. i finished a day's entry in like 3 sentences. wahahaha.

;i am afraid


i just realise i missed the part i gonna say how i reacted to the pay. LOL. i think i went out of space while i wrote that. i was gonna say, im like so... eh... im still lost for words. just surprised by the amount. i've stated them in my tag if you are interested. LOL. for the love of god, if you think its like wow stuff, its nothing great lah seriously.

i missed my period

o.o

i did nothing. alright? don make wild guesses. i dont know why, its maybe my family heritance.

stayed at home the whole day, jeffrey wanted to meet but i cant and he's going down to boat quey for ah di's birthday. i slacked the whole damn day.

I NEED TUITION! IN SMALL GROUP FOR MATHS AND COMBINED SCIENCE. IM SERIOUS. ANY KIND HEARTED SOUL HELP ME LOOK OUT FOR IT. THANKS EH. (:

;i am afraid


it was choir on tuesday, early dismissal so met up with nicholas and he made me wait again. i hate to wait and he is doing all that shit. i ate and spent alot, shadows and images of him kept popping up in my mind. i had to get him off. i have to. =[

audition at mediacorp the next day, saw wendy and another girl. it went quite well overall, had to read script from [星闪闪] the channel 8 show kinda stuff. she told me bout the pay and i was like, ' eh, we are also then the stupid shoe gave me trouble again, i fell down on my way back to the exit and had lotsa blisters. met up with javier at the toa payoh mrt station. he was like nice to treat me to movie and lunch... and dinner. haha! but i spent all my money on other stuff like clothes and taxi fare. even adrian dont know the cheaper way to get to that freaking place. who else help me? get there without a cab, i meant mediacorp.

we watched da vinci code. its better then expected and i understand the whole thing although i missed quite some part of the book. its actually quite straight forward if you know what they are talking about. like the holy grail, it can be quite confusing for people who dont know stuff like that. all 话中有话. -.- im quite lost for words. i meant what they said has a deeper meaning to it. something like that. pardon me alright. i haven't been very clear minded since labour day.

alright alright alright... its a good catch. go for it! =D

oh ya, i also went around town for shopping, bought blossomz's shorts for like $32.90, zara's stripped shirt for $39.90, some hairbands at the heeren for like $2.90 each. i have to stop spending.

off to a kopitiam at yishun with javier and met up with his friends after that. there's this guy who's so hilarious lorh! all rubbish talk and i cannot tahan him at all. i ate very little. the noodle was too spicy for me. i hate spiced up food. turns me off big time but i like laksa though. =D

choir practise again today, and will be for the rest of the tuesdays and thursdays in the holidays. its going on pretty well but the boys have to buck up, and i mean alot. too soft and unsure about what they are doing. jiayou! richard jiayou! hahahaha! richard is my idol okay.

nicholas wanted to meet but i have to wait again so i got angry and went off, was actually meeting jeffrey but he had to attend to something else so i continued o2jam. this nicholas bought me chocolates to apologise. im not that angry already.

i might stop blogging. depends on the amount of readers i have. it seems like i have very hardly a handful. so if you read, tag me, tell me and remind me that i still have you. its very very nice to know people read your stuff and know your thoughts alright.

oh my, i sound pathetic.


呼吸著一種孤獨的味道
心跳在你沉默以後慢慢的被淡忘掉
我笑了笑 反正你看不到
我要的幸福 遺落在你懷抱
當愛失了焦 那些最初的美好
早被你擱在一角
街上擁擠人潮 走著看著都是催眠符號
記憶停不了 穿過讀你的心跳
穿過想你的味道 我只想不被打擾
假裝多好 我只要 只想要 再擁有一秒
去相信你的擁抱 一直會讓我依靠
繼續等待 還心甘情願的不想逃

當愛失了焦 那些最初的美好
早被你擱在一角
街上擁擠人潮 走著看著都是催眠符號
記憶停不了 穿過讀你的心跳
穿過想你的味道 我只想不被打擾
假裝多好 我只要 只想要 再擁有一秒
去相信你的擁抱 一直會讓我依靠
繼續等待 心甘情願不想逃
假裝多好 依然是 依然是 曖昧的tone調
一個人無理取鬧 兩人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己設下的圈套

像是駝鳥 相信時間是唯一解藥
視而不見 傻到了無可救藥
其實早明瞭 你的愛已隨風飄
想要找 再也找不到
假裝多好 我只要 只想要 再擁有一秒去
相信你的擁抱 還心甘情願的不想逃
假裝多好 依然是 依然是 曖昧的tone調
一個人無理取鬧 兩人世界的煎熬
我被自己困在自己設下的圈套
假裝自己 已解開冰冷的手銬

;i am afraid